


Jassa

by Jathis



Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game)
Genre: Abuse of Authority, Blood, Canonical Character Death, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Mercy Killing, Scars, Slavery, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2018-09-26
Packaged: 2018-09-27 13:18:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 30
Words: 11,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10022318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jathis/pseuds/Jathis
Summary: Just some short stories I wrote about my High Elven Warlock Jassa in the Out of the Abyss campaign





	1. Chance Meetings

Pain. There was so much of it. Their face had become numb, a single throbbing agony that left them blinded and unable to move. The only noise heard was a loud buzzing in their ears and they tended briefly before their body relaxed, leaving them limp in the muddy ditch they had been rolled into when their attackers had finished their fun.

For a long moment there was nothing and then Jassa felt cold all over.

“This is your own fault, you know. Nobody likes people with the potential to rise above their station,” a cool voice murmured. Icy fingers touched the slashes that marred either side of their mouth. “At least they had a thing for symmetry…”

Jassa did not have the strength to open their eyes. They lie on their side still, feeling nothing but the cold and hearing nothing but this new voice. “Please…” they thought.

“Please what?”

“Please don’t leave me…”

“You know who did this.”

“Yes.”

“You know why.”

“Yes.”

“You want to kill them, don’t you?”

“…yes…” They heard a light chuckle above them and then let out a yelp of pain as frozen hands grasped either side of their face. They were forced to sit up, their eyes opening wide as they stared into a beautiful and terrible face of ice and snow.

“I will give you what you want. Prove to me you deserve to serve the Prince of Frost.” The Fey smiled then, teeth as sharp as the icicles parents warned their young about.

“Don’t leave me… I don’t want to be alone anymore…”

“I won’t; as long as you don’t disappoint me. Now, get up.”

***

Jassa woke up with a shudder and a gasp. Sitting up, they vomited what was left in their stomach, grimacing as the pain of their wounds faded. They looked around and hissed as they forced themself onto their feet, climbing up out of the muck and the mud that clung to their tattered clothes.

There was power in their hands now. Their body felt comfortably cold, a small plume of breath expelling from their scarred lips into the warm air. They smiled as they thought about how they would slaughter the ones who had paid for them to be tortured and moved forward.


	2. Before

They hummed softly to themselves, placing the most recently received letter of courtship onto their table. This time it was for the hand of Lady Sesstrial. They idly wondered how they would turn her down as gently as possible. They slipped a cloak onto their shoulders and counted their arrows before stepping out.

“Jassa!”

They looked up, smiling brightly as they waved to their approaching friend. “Jax! I’m going out to do some hunting; come with me!”

Jax’s expression changed briefly but was covered up again before it could be commented upon. “You’re going out?”

“You know I like heading out around this time.”

“Yeah, yeah you always did like following a routine I suppose.” Jax shook his head and offered them a smile as he said, “maybe today you’d rather stay home? Deal with some of those proposals you’ve been getting?”

Jassa wrinkled their nose. “Don’t remind me.”

“A lot of people would like to be in your boots. Not a lot of lowborns have highborns asking to marry them.”

“I don’t see what the big deal is. I’m not interested in marriage.”

“But still…some people might see that as a problem. Especially other highborns.”

Jassa just laughed and shook their head. “You’re talking about Oli and their little group of friends. I don’t see why they insist on seeing me as competition. I’ve done nothing but turn down these proposals. Highborns or low; I just don’t want to get married. They don’t need to be so obnoxious about it. If they weren’t such an ass maybe people would want to marry them too!”

“I suppose.” Jax reached out when Jassa turned to leave, catching their wrist. “Maybe you should stay home today.”

“I’ll be fine,” Jassa promised as they slipped from his grip.

He could only watch as they left, frowning to himself. It was not until Jassa was out of sight that he felt movement behind him.

“They went hunting then?”

“Yes.”

“Do you know how annoying it is to be turned down so many times because of some lowborn?”

“Annoying enough to hire outsiders to kill…” Jax was grabbed by the shoulder and spun around, looking at the furious Elf.

“You put in your gold too!” Oli hissed in his face. “You were angry because Miaer turned you down and said they wanted Jassa!”

“I know but…”

“And besides…we didn’t pay them to kill. We only told them to ensure they did not return. Dying by exposure isn’t murder. We didn’t pay for murder. Elves don’t pay to have other Elves killed.” Oli calmed down a little, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, smiling. “The four of us put in our gold. The four of us are in this together. ALL of us. There’s no backing down now.”


	3. Proof

“It seems to me that your idea of what to do is rather small in the grand scheme of things.”

Jassa stopped in their tracks, frowning as they tilted their head. It had been a day or two since they had woken up, badly scarred but with a soothing voice in their head. A voice that spoke so softly to them, comforting whenever their wounds started to ache and throb. “What do you mean?” they ask.

“Why has your home not sent anyone to look for you?”

“I…”

“Literally no one is looking for you right now. Could it be that they are glad to be rid of you? Rid of the one who effortlessly captured so many hearts and yet refused to take one? Why did you never choose a marriage proposal?”

“I wasn’t ready for marriage,” they murmured.

“And now look at you.”

They were silent then, subconsciously pulling on their muddied clothes. They reached up to touch a scarred cheek, fingertips tracing over raised flesh.

“You’re filthy and scarred. If you go back and only deal with the ones who paid the mercenaries you’ll still be left living in a place that didn’t even miss you. Do you think those proposals will still be valid? Would any of them marry you now?”

“I…I don’t…”

“In the Winter Court; you would be seen as handsome,” the voice purred. “A scarred and skillful vassal who obeyed their Master.”

“A vassal?”

“Once you get your revenge on all of them.”

“All of them.”

“Revenge is not complete without all of them paying for it. Understand? Every living soul.”

Jassa nodded their head, running a trembling hand through their red hair. “The Winter Court…you will always be there for me?”

“As long as you prove yourself.”

And that was enough for them.


	4. Maybe

“Look, I’m jus’ sayin’ what we should do is set this boat up like a gambling den, right? Sail into places, set up shop, and then sail away with like all their money before the authorities realize what’s going on. Am I right or am I right? I know I’m right but I jus’ like hearing you say it.”

They snorted into their cup, choking weakly on the clean water before they were able to catch themselves. Jassa looked over where Jimjar sat with some of the others and vaguely wished they had the courage to walk over and join the rest of them.

Social interaction was hard in friendly situations. Jassa knew how to lie and convince people to do what they wanted, but that wasn’t something that needed to be done right now. Even back before…they never fully grasped the idea of sitting around with a group.

Derendil tended to stay by himself too. It’s what made it easier to interact with the mad Quoggoth who believed himself some kind of cursed Elven Prince. Plus Derendil was mad so Jassa could roll with whatever he said and turn it into whatever they wanted to suit their own needs.

They vaguely wondered if this made them a bad person.

Laughter broke them from their thoughts. They glanced back over at the group and saw that Jimjar was telling another one of his stories that didn’t make a lot of sense when you thought too long about it. Aza’s face was bright with laughter, her colorful hair falling over her face.

Jassa hummed softly to themselves. Jimjar made them feel like they used to. He didn’t seem to care about what anyone looked like or was. He spoke to everyone the same, even if most of what he said was cryptic when further considered.

They wouldn’t mind spending some time with him to talk to him.

“Aza, watch this. I learned this from a Surfacer; that was down here in the Underdark because that is exactly where I met them and nowhere else!”

Scarred cheeks turned a dull pink. Maybe later they would try something. Maybe. They needed to think about this.


	5. Hard Choices

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the one where a mercy killing is performed

_Shit._

They had thought turning into a plant for a while had been bad enough. Perhaps they would have been better off staying as a plant. Plants didn’t have to deal with these kinds of things. They just sat in dirt and were happy in their dirt.

_Shit._

Reaching out and grabbing Turvy had been done without a thought. They had been in a slaver’s cell together and now they would figure this out. They had to.

Running their mouth was also second-nature to them. The lies about helping the twins get ready for their wedding came spilling out of their mouth and soon Jassa had the two infected brutes moving into the curtain of fungus without another word save for some threats that meant nothing. Now they were alone with the twins and…

_Shit._

Aza tried talking to Topsy. Jassa watched as her face twisted with worry, holding onto her infected friend. She was infected too and Jassa had no doubt that they would be next since they had placed their hands on Turvy but…

But they knew letting them slip in would have made Aza sad and she had defended them when they had turned into a plant before. They owed her at least something for that.

_Shit._

“Aza, I know you don’t want to hear this but…I think we’re going to have to end it,” they murmured, adjusting their grip on the still Topsy, one arm around her forehead, the other around her chest to brace her. They watched as Aza internally struggled with the decision. This wasn’t fair and it wasn’t right but they felt like this was something she had to decide. They weren’t going to act without her permission on this. “I don’t want you to be mad at me,” they added and found to their mild surprise that it was true. They didn’t want Aza to be mad at them. It felt like she was the only one who believed in them.

Like the StoneSinger. He had said he believed in them too.

“I’m not going to be mad…” Aza promised.

They twisted and Topsy’s neck broke like a mushroom stalk, a cloud of spores bursting from the open wound, covering their clothes. Kayle ended Turvy’s life, using his sword to slit the Deep Gnome’s throat, thick blood seeping from the line.

“We need to get out of here,” they sighed, stripping off their clothes to get rid of the spores. “I hate this place.”


	6. Little Talk

Next time they would remember not to use their bare hands when it came to trying to remove pieces of giant monsters that burst through cave walls.

The thought came to Jassa when one of the wounds on the palms of their hands opened up again, staining the bandages red. “Dammit…” they murmured. They sat down, unwrapping the bandages around their hands to see just how much of the wounds had opened on their palms.

“Yer gonna need some help with that. Here lemme see.” Jassa’s hand was taken carefully and they looked up as Jimjar started to undo the rest of the bandages. “What did you do, anyway? Slam ya hands down on some nails?”

“I wanted the mandibles from a monster we killed.”

“Ya got a weird obsession with taking parts offa things,” he noted.

They shrugged, keeping their eyes focused on their hands. “We made gold off of those hag eyes, right?”

Jimjar beamed at the memory as he cleaned the wound with some water. “Sixty gold for some peepers! Who woulda thought, huh? I mean I’ve sold some weird stuff before but I ain’t too sure I’ve ever made sixty off some eyes, ya know?”

“What kind of stuff?” Jassa asked.

“What’s with your new outfit?” Jimjar asked, changing the subject with a smile.

Jassa pouted a little. “Graz'zt gave it to me. I might keep the skirt but the top is…inconvenient.”

“Why, because now people know you’re a girl?”

They wrinkled their nose. “I’m not a girl.”

“Huh?”

“I’m an Elf,” Jassa reminded him.

He laughed, shaking his head as he dressed their hands with fresh bandages. “Yer weird.”

“So are you.”

“Never said I wasn’t.”

“I suppose so.” The bandages were finished and they bent their fingers to test their hold. “Thanks…”

“I gotta tell ya something I ain’t told nobody else.”

They looked up in surprise at that. “What?” they asked, noting the serious look on his face.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much gold in one chest in my whole life. There was five hundred in there. It was amazing I nearly cried.”

They laughed.


	7. Horrified

Horrified.

He used the term horrified.

Several times in fact.

Horrified.

Jassa winced, hugging their knees to their chest. They had stormed up into one of the upper rooms of the tower, unable to handle the emotions they felt over everything.

Almost dying tended to make people think about things. Torrin didn’t even have that chance anymore. Torrin had been killed when those two demons collided and erupted.

One of which they had summoned.

They looked up when they heard footsteps, sighing when they saw Derendil; the mad Quoggoth who thought himself a cursed Elven prince.

“Daughter, what is wrong?”

So today they were his daughter. They supposed it was better than when he thought them his wife or concubine. “Nothing…”

“Dear heart,” he sighed, approaching to sit beside them, “I can tell that something is wrong. Tell me.”

“…I’m hideous,” they murmured.

“Daughter!”

“They wanted me to die. Instead I’m alive but too hideous for anyone to like me in any way besides seeing me as useful to be around. So in a way…my enemies on the surface won.”

Derendil snorted, placing a powerful arm around their shoulders and hugging them close. “You are beautiful. You’ll find someone who loves you too.”

“You think so?”

“Am I not a prince?” he laughed.

“You’re not.”

“What?”

“I said you’re right,” they lied.

Derendil laughed, slapping them on the back.


	8. Dance Lessons

"I used to dance, you know."

Aza perked up at the sudden confession, looking at the Warlock in surprise. Jassa lay on their back, staring up at the ceiling above them. They shifted a little, trying to find some form of comfort. "Oh?" she prompted them.

"I suppose I was good at it," they mumbled with a shrug. "My village used to hold festivals a lot. There was always dancing and music."

"You must have been a good dancer."

They laughed at that. "I suppose so..."

Aza hummed softly, tilting her head to the side before she spoke again, "maybe you could show me how?" Jassa looked over at her, raising an eyebrow. "If you wanted to."

There was another moment of silence and then Jassa pushed themselves onto their feet, brushing themselves off. "Stand on my feet and I'll show you," they said as they took her hands.

Aza took a moment to do as directed, smiling excitedly as they started to move around the low campfire that had been built. The pair had been left to guard most of the supplies while the others went scouting. She laughed when Jassa started to spin and twirl in tight circles, keeping he left balanced on their feet. "You dance so funny up on the surface!"

Jassa snorted, "you can show me how you dance afterwards and we'll compare for ourselves!"


	9. One Sided Competition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kayil is my friends Fighter/Warlock

"It's not a competition," he said for what felt like a millionth time since he and Jassa had been spoken to with Graz'zt together. He watched as the full Elf's scarred face froze a moment, no doubt a sign that the wheels inside of their head was turning, albeit sideways and jerky knowing Jassa.

Although Kayil wasn't sure if he was allowed to think like that, catching a glimpse of a certain Derro from the corner of his eye. He turned his head and saw nothing just as he had expected and he narrowed his eyes in annoyance.

"I'm not going to lose," Jassa's voice brought him back to reality and he sighed.

"It's not a..."

"I refuse to lose. So you should just let me win and then we can be friends!" they chirped almost brightly, a mad glint in their eyes as they smiled at him. "I'll even give you a title in my court!"

He raised an eyebrow at that. "Your court?"

"I'm the ruler of the Winter Court," Jassa said with a firm nod.

"...uh huh..?"

"So that means I could give you a title! But only if you let me win. You have dumb God powers anyway! You should let me win to be fair!"

"You act like I asked for that bloodline..."

They snorted, playfully punching his arm. "Just let me win so I don't have to kill you, okay?"

Kayil idly wondered if any of the wheels were still working in Jassa's head. "...sure..."

"Great! Now we can be friends!" they cheered.


	10. Second Mouth

They sat by the lazily moving river, watching the way chunks of ice broke off and flowed downstream and away from them. Jassa hummed softly in happiness, uncurling themselves and leaning back against the palms of their hands.

Things were starting to come together. Things were finally starting to settle. Soon they would find a way to kill the Dragon and possibly kill some others in the process and they'd be out of this damned city.

"I am the ruler of the Winter Court," they giggled to themselves, "all will kneel and bow their heads to me! I..."

They felt pain across their throat. Jassa coughed and frowned as the pain got stronger. Liquid filled their throat and they coughed and retched up blood into their lap as everything gave way and they were back in reality.

Someone had slit their throat. Jassa clapped both of their hands over their weeping neck, blood continuing to spill out and fill their mouth and stain their gown. Azza came running to their aid, quickly using her magic to stop the damage from killing them.

As Jassa's eyes focused, they saw the dagger in Kayil's hand still wet with their blood and they snarled in fury as they pushed themselves onto their feet.

Someone was going to pay for this.


	11. Cracked

They needed to get out. They needed to get out and they needed to get out now. They were going to die. This wasn't supposed to happen.

Something had ruptured in their eyes when they were initially attacked and downed by the bloody creature. They woke up with a shudder, their vision watery as they lashed out.

They tried again and that was when they felt something inside of them snap. Jassa lunged blindly for the sealed door, letting out a panicked shriek as they started to claw at the door. Their nails chipped and cracked under the pressure, blood starting to streak under their fingers and onto the stone of the door.

There was no time to think. No time to plan and try to do anything. They needed to get the fuck out and they needed to do it now.

Jassa was struck again from behind. They arched their back in pain as they felt the rusted hatchet bite into their flesh. Something snapped inside and suddenly they were lunging forward, out of the room before crumpling to the ground. Their hands throbbed, all four limbs trembling. They could hear muffled screaming behind the door and they closed their eyes tightly, clapping their hands over their scarred ears.

"Does anyone need help?"

They looked up, narrowing bloodshot eyes to make them focus. They blinked when they saw it was the Dragonborn Heskan and they could only stare dumbly as the Paladin healed them before moving to smash open the door.

An anger burned inside of them as they stared at their now heavily scarred fingers. They forced their legs to work as they stood up and they screamed as they hurled eldritch magick at the last of the enemy, trembling once again, but not in fear.


	12. Reversion

They woke up with a scream, kicking out violently with their legs as their arms were thrown in the useless shapes of spells. For a long moment there was nothing save for the sound of their heartbeat and the dull ache of the scars on their face remembering old traumas. The images and sensations they had experienced in their dreams was still fresh in their mind and they felt lost.

Movement brought them back to reality and Jassa blinked, lowering their hands as Derendil sat up, blinking owlishly with his hair hanging in his face. “Beloved, what's the matter?” he murmured. He raised up a hand to brush his hair out of his face and Jassa saw a small patch of silver hair on his forearm.

_“I've given you everything you wanted. You need me.”_

_“I don't think that's true. I don't think I ever needed you.”_

_“Fine.”_

“Beloved?” Derendil touched their cheek and Jassa looked up at him.

“I think I'm fucked,” they said bluntly.

“Not in front of the others,” he whispered.

“No, the bad kind.”

“...not in the front of the others!”

They sighed softly, forcing themselves to stand up. “Derendil, there's something I need to tell you but you have to promise not to get mad.”

Derendil blinked in confusion but stood up, laughing as he took their hands into his own. “I could never be angry with you! Tell me what grieves you so.”

Jassa closed their eyes and took a deep breath. “Okay…”

And then they told him the truth. When they were finished they waited for the explosion. His eyes had seemed to fill with blood a few times, the bloodrage of a Quaggoth slowly starting to build inside of him once more. Each time however he had calmed down again, his eyes clearing up to their natural hue.

“And...that's what happened…” they mumbled, looking down at the ground. Two hands cupped their face, tilting their head up to look up at him again.

“Even if what you believe is happening is true; I'm sure you'll find some other way,” he laughed, “I love you.”

Jassa could feel the way his hands were rough on their skin, his nails looking thicker than before. They said nothing and simply leaned against him for comfort.


	13. Reflection

She perked up when the visitors returned, smiling when she saw that their venture into the city seemed to have been a good one for them. “Found everything you needed then?” she asked.

“New clothes and everything,” Jassa hummed.

“I've got a few rooms for washing up if you'd like! Nothing too fancy but they get the job done!” Tappy blinked as she was picked up again by the odd Sun Elf who called themselves a queen, enduring another one of their odd hugs. “Umm…” she was set down again before she had to ask and she could only laugh as the Elf ran off.

It had been so long since they had been able to wash themselves. Falling into water or being absorbed and burned by a gelatinous cube did not count as a proper washing. They enjoyed themselves, ensuring that the accumulated filth from their travels was washed off of them before they put on their new clothes.

They sighed as they splashed some cool water onto their face, using a towel to dry off before lifting up their head to look into the small mirror on the wall.

Their unscarred face stared back at them.

Jassa flinched, frowning as they tilted their head. They watched as their reflection did the same. They touched their face, touching thick scars that ran over the flesh. Their reflection was still smooth, even their ears were whole and untouched.

“I don't understand…” Jassa whispered, frowning at their reflection. The reflection matched; at first. Slowly the expression started to change, turning into one of confusion and then growing horror.

Jassa’s reflection was afraid of what it was looking at.

“Don't look at me like that!” they cried, clapping their hands over their face, “you can't! You don't even know what happened!

“Beloved? Are you okay in there?” Derendil’s voice brought Jassa back to reality and they lowered their hands.

Their scarred face stared back at them from the mirror.

“...I'm finished,” they mumbled before stepping out of the room, hugging onto his arm.


	14. Bangin'

There were so many questions swirling around her head, like the Ioun stone that lazily moved around. What were those flashes of old memories?

“Aza.”

That sarcophagus with her name?

“Aza?”

Everything was just so confusing.

“Aza!”

Not to mention all of the requests that had been laid at their feet.

“Aza! Hey!”

Dealing with wererats, dealing with ghosts, dealing with a medusa apparently, and then there was…

“AZA!”

She blinked, looking up as Jassa looked down at her expectantly, “huh?”

The scarred Elf smiled at her, pointing over at where Derendil sat with a group of very confused Deep Gnomes. “He's drunk and I need him to not be drunk so I can bang him,” they bluntly said.

“...what…”

“Aza, we can have sex in a real bed for once,” Jassa explained. “Sex in a BED, Aza!”

Aza sighed softly but offered her friend a smile. “So you want me to cure his drunkenness?”

“Yes, please!”

“Okay, but only if you promise not to tell me about it in the morning.”

Jassa nodded, “deal!” They watched excitedly as the Druid cured Derendil’s drunkenness, bringing him back to a state of mental clarity.

“I am still the prince of the trees,” he blurted.

They clapped their hands, laughing brightly as they hugged him around his neck. “Come on!” Derendil swept the red headed Elf off of their feet, smiling brightly as he headed straight towards the rooms. “We're going to have sex!” Jassa crowed.

Jimjar shared a look with Aza and she could only shrug.


	15. Slip of the Tongue

“I may have overdone it on the food today,” Tappy laughed, “but with the new supplies that came in I suppose I wanted to show off a little and..!” She yelped when she was scooped up into Jassa’s arms and hugged tightly, feet leaving the ground.

“I love you, Stool.”

“I'm not a stool?” she offered

***

“HEY!”

He yelped, jerking his hand back. The candles he had been lighting were knocked to the ground and he bent down to pick them up, trying to stop them from rolling all over. “Uh um..!”

“We got more questions about the ghost stuff!” Jassa announced, picking up the candle that had rolled over to them. They held it out to Glyphic as he approached, waiting as he set everything back to where it belonged.

“Okay..? I mean I guess I could tell you what I know…” the Deep Gnome mumbled. He told the odd looking Elf as much as he could, pouting a little when they ruffled his hair when finished. “Uh…”

“Thanks, Stool!”

“...I'm not a stool?”


	16. Fault

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party found out Derendil wasn’t Derendil. He ended up transforming into a monster. Had to make several persuasion checks to stop him but he ended up dying in Jassa’s arms

“Do you want to..?”

They cut off any further words of comfort as they slipped out of Kayil’s protective grasp, refusing to look at anything but the floor. They turned around and collected their assortment of “trophies”, taking special care with returning Derendil, no Ephraim’s, teeth back into a small pouch. With that they picked up the fallen sword he had been wielding, the same one he had once broken and lost on a roof, holding it loosely at their side.

Galiya glanced over at Kayil, a worried look on her face. Just what exactly had they been doing down in the Underdark before their return? She glanced at the dagger at his hip, unable to help images of Kayil deteriorating in her arms from crossing her mind.

Jassa snatching up her familiar Snuffles brought her back to reality. “Hey..!” She watched as the scarred Elf placed the psuedodragon on their shoulder and sighed. She made a small comforting gesture with a hand when the animal looked back at her, watching as Snuffles settled down on their new perch. 

“...when I said I was going to find a way to get them to be quiet; I didn’t mean for something like this,” she murmured.

They weren’t sure if they were hurt or relieved by the way everyone moved out of their way as they walked down the stairs. They spared a glance at the dining room table and their own untouched meal but found that they would not be able to hold anything down for quite some time.

Jassa found shelter in one of the empty rooms with a working door. An old and worn bookcase was slid in front of it to ensure nobody would be coming in without their permission. 

Snuffles offered a soft questioning peep but Jassa just shook their head, flopping down onto the bed. The wound just below their ribs was throbbing, most of the blood drying and making their dress cling to their skin.

They hugged his sword to their chest. They closed their eyes as they felt Snuffles shift around, curling up above their head for warmth and comfort.

And the last thing they thought before passing out was that this was all their fault.


	17. Full Circle

They had no idea how she had done it. One minute Aza was waking them up and the next there was light and just…

And then there was him.

There was Ephraim.

The anxiety and worry that had been building up over the past three days slipped away and even the collar Graz’zt had put around their throat felt like nothing as Ephraim pulled them into his arms, holding them close to listen to his heart and feel the warmth of his living flesh against their body.

In the morning they insisted on taking him to purchase wedding rings. The ceremony could wait but with the rings they could at least stop people from acting surprised whenever they said they were engaged. 

“Something the two of us have together,” Jassa murmured, “just you and me.”

It was Ephraim who found the rings. White gold bands, one with a crescent moon and one with the sun etched onto them. There were no overly large gems to lose or get caught on something. They were simple and they were perfect and they were on their fingers as soon as the money was paid.

***

“All of this is because you didn’t want to get married,” Ephraim noted aloud, frowning at the thought that had come to him.

Jassa sighed softly, quietly putting away their notes before nodding their head. “And because Ollie is a piece of dog sh…”

“Then why do you want to marry me?” They were silent then. Ephraim looked down at them, head tilted slightly to the side.

For a brief moment Jassa thought about Velkynvelve and what it was like there. Memories that had been pushed down and buried tried to reveal themselves, bringing up old pains and terrors that had run through their head and body.

“...because you’re the only one who kept me sane there,” they finally answered, finding that every word they said was true. They looked up and offered him a sad smile, “I love you. I don’t feel like I’m going to be used by you.”

Ephraim considered this answer, looking down at the ring on his finger. “We’ll find a way to clear your name,” he promised.

“I’m sure we will,” Jassa agreed, keeping their own doubts to themselves.


	18. Past

He used his thumb to gently press down on the loose leaves, packing the tobacco down into the bowl. He then took another pinch from his small pouch of loose leaf, feeding it into the bowl once more before pressing down again.

The door slamming open nearly made him drop everything on the floor. “Jax! Guess who's eating rabbit tonight?! It’s us! We’re the ones eating rabbit!” Jassa announced as they shut the door behind them. 

“What..?” he blinked as they held up three slain rabbits, frowning in confusion. 

“You caught us rabbit?!” Leah excitedly asked, coming out from the small kitchen. She clapped her hands when she saw the promised game, throwing her arms around Jassa’s neck in a hug. 

Jassa laughed, hugging her with one arm around her middle. “One for each of us so we each get the good bits!”

“...you hid those didn’t you?” Jax asked. He sighed when Jassa’s smile grew, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers. “Jassa…”

“I made quota with that buck I shot yesterday!” Jassa insisted, “that means this is extra and I get to keep it.”

“You didn’t even report it.”

“Obviously.”

“Jassa.”

“Jax.”

He groaned softly, bringing his unlit pipe to his lips to bite on the end, one of his signs of nervousness Jassa had learned to recognize over the years. “If we get caught…”

“But we won’t. Isn’t that right, Leah?” Jassa asked, offering the younger Elf a conspiratorial wink. 

“You do the cleaning and I’ll get the pot ready,” Leah agreed.

“You’re corrupting my sister.”

“I hope so!”

Jax snorted, trying and failing to stop himself from smiling this time around as Jassa set to work, placing a cloth down on the table before starting to cut the first rabbit open. “You’re going to send me to an early grave you keep this up.”

Jassa just smiled, offering Jax a wink and a kiss in the air. “You love me anyway.”

He finally laughed, setting his partially packed pipe aside to help with the cleaning.


	19. Nothing

“Do you think they make these things themselves or have someone else make it for them?” Jassa idly asked, holding a wax seal with the imprint of a highborn house set into it. They were working back to their home, holding a basket of some groceries and supplies Leah had needed to buy for her home. They had picked up their mail along the way, opening one of the letters.

“You think any of them would actually spend the time to do work with their hands?” Leah countered with a raised eyebrow. She giggled when Jassa burst into laughter, shaking her head as the other started to fold the marriage proposal into the shape of a bird.

“How far do you think I could make this one go?” Jassa wondered, admiring their work in the sunshine. They idly tossed the paper bird up into the air, watching as it flew in a downward arc.

A downward arc into Oli’s face. 

“Oh look at that, my bird found a worm,” Jassa noted. They stood their ground as the other approached, shifting ever so slightly to keep Leah behind their shoulder in defense.

“Is this what you do, Breeder? Make a mockery of the generous offers sent to you?” Oli demanded.

“Ollie, why do you even bother coming down here? Do they send you here when the dung smell that comes from your mouth is too strong or..?”

“Any lowborn woman would be honored to be given any offer!”

Jassa opened their mouth to respond but was interrupted by Leah. “Jassa’s not a woman.”

Oli looked at the other Elf with a frown. “What?”

“They’re an Elf. Not a woman,” Leah explained. Jassa smiled beside her, bowing their head a little.

“Oh don’t tell me you’re encouraging that rot,” Oli snorted, “you can’t be nothing!”

“Jassa isn’t nothing. They’re a Sun Elf.”

“I am,” Jassa chirped. They brought the seal to their tongue, licking the back of it before flicking it with their thumb, making it stick to Oli’s face just long enough to make his eyes widen in horror and disgust. “See ya later, Ollie Ollie. Don’t drown in your nonexistent marriage proposals.”

“Jax is going to lecture us for hours about this,” Leah whispered as they walked away from the blistering and fuming Oli.

“Naw, maybe one,” Jassa offered. They frowned as a thought came to them and their eyes widened. “Dammit!”

“What?”

“I just realized fucking Ollie stole my paper bird!”

Leah shook her head, “you’re so weird.”

“I spent a good two minutes on that bird!”


	20. Night Before

He woke with a gasp, kicking out with one leg at nothing. He blinked, sharp eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness of the room. He reached out to his side and found that it was empty.

Ephraim started to panic. His heart raced as his chest started to tighten. Had they taken them in the middle of the night? Had they tried to run somehow and left him and the others behind? His head started to hurt as the thoughts raced, forcing him to shut his eyes tightly, gritting his teeth as he felt pressure building behind them.

“I’m right here, baby.” 

Jassa’s voice made all of his worrisome thoughts scatter to the winds. He turned and found the other Elf sitting by the window, twirling one of the arrowheads that had been rescued from the fire between their knuckles, back and forth. “Jassa.”

“Maybe I should have just stayed in that ditch and let the bugs and carrion eaters finish me.”

He frowned as he got out of bed, shaking his head as he approached the other. He reached out, taking their hand. “Don’t talk like that.”

“It’s true. Nobody would be having these issues if I had just…”

“Stop with the pity party and put your belt on like a big grown Elf,” Ephraim sneered, eyes becoming ever so lidded in annoyance.

Jassa blinked and turned to look at him. Ephraim’s face however had already gone back to soft and concerned, his thumb rubbing the back of their hand in slow circles. They sighed; there was no time to worry about this right now, tomorrow was the trial. “I might end up having to duel Ollie tomorrow if things go wrong.”

“I would battle that cretin for you in an instant,” he countered.

“You don’t even have armor or a weapon,” Jassa reminded him.

“Ah well…” Ephraim considered a moment before straightening up, taking up a boxing pose. “Then I shall battle him with my bare hands!”

“If any of you get involved you’ll get punished too and I can’t let that happen. This is my fight.”

“Dear…”

They couldn’t help but laugh softly, shaking their head. “I was kind of hoping our wedding would be a bit more romantic,” they confessed, “but I think this will at least make Ollie piss himself a little when a prince just marries another prince to me of all people right there in court just so I can fight him.”

“Yes! Element of surprise if needed!” Ephraim agreed. He smiled, holding both of Jassa’s hands in his own, “but something does still bother you. I can see it.”

“...just thinking about if things go wrong.”

“They won’t!”

“‘If’ can be a big or small word in this world,” Jassa said with a shake of their head. They locked eyes with him then, smile fading. “Do you remember what I said? About taking care of Leah if things go bad?”

“Of course. I meant it.”

“I never meant to leave her like this. Never meant to lose Jax or anybody else. But if I screw this up again I need to know that someone will be there to help. Maybe even taking her away to somewhere safer and away from Ollie and people like him. Can you do that for me?”

He nodded his head, “I promise.”

Jassa smiled then, hugging him close. “I still can’t believe you’re back,” they murmured against his neck.

“Come back to bed, Jassa. Let me lie beside you again.”

“Always.”

“Always the drama with you, isn’t it?”

“Pretty much, yeah,” Jassa agreed.

“Hm?” Ephraim asked.

“Nothing.”


	21. They

“You know they’re never going to acknowledge it.”

Jassa looked up from rolling their crude cigar with some of Jax’s pipe leaf, raising an eyebrow at the other. “What?”

“You’re refusal to identify as anything. They’ll never allow it,” Jax warned with a shake of his head.

They snorted, borrowing a match from their friend to light their cigar before taking a pull, smoke flowing from flaring nostrils. They cracked their jaw once in annoyance, leaning back in their chair. “Technically I’m not wrong,” they said.

“The High Council recognizes male or female; they won’t recognize your refusal to identify as either.”

“The marriage proposals don’t care.”

“I’m fairly certain some of them see you more as an oddity than a legitimate Breeder for them. Don’t you care about that?”

“Course I do.”

“Then why..?”

“Because it doesn’t matter what’s between my legs or what’s in my body. My ability to impregnate or become pregnant. I’m an Elf. My name is Jassa Wyspurr. That's who I am.”

Jax shook his head, offering them a fond smile before bringing his pipe to his mouth for a puff. “Leah managed to barter for some of Merchaw’s moonshine,” he said.

“Yeah!” Jassa laughed, getting to their feet, “let’s get drunk, Jax!” they crowed, clapping him on the shoulder. There was a moment’s silence as Jax stood up and Jassa coughed. “Jax?”

“Hm?”

“I don’t care what people insist I am; as long as I have you and Leah who know who I am, I’m happy.”

He smiled, nodding his head. “Always,” he promised.

***

The small spider crawled calmly down her arm and over the back of her hand. Ilvara turned her hand just as it reached the end of her nails, watching as it crawled over her palm and back up her arm again. The spider only faltered once, disturbed by the sound of muffled curses and chains rattling, followed by a heavy thud as something was thrown to the ground.

“So, what have you brought me back from your first surface raid?” Ilvara asked, her attention still focused on the spider’s lazy climb.

“I thought you might like a surface Elf to play with,” he said proudly, puffing up under his own importance. He deflated a little when Ilvara snapped her head to look, red eyes flashing. “I uh…”

Jassa hissed softly as they pushed themselves up off of their face, spitting out blood. They were grabbed by a hand with nails as sharp as animal claws, biting back a pained groan as the tips dug into their chin and drew blood. 

“This one is uglier than they usually are,” Ilvara noted, turning their head one way then another, “what is it? Some pathetic male or ugly female?”

“M’name’s Jassa,” they mumbled. Several small snake heads lunged forward, hissing at them in warning. Jassa blinked, realizing that the snakes were the lashes on a whip hung low on the Drow’s hip. “Oh wow you really have those things…”

“It’s...talkative,” Shoor offered.

Ilvara snorted, snapping her hand away as she stood to look at Shoor. “You didn’t even check?”

“All it kept saying was that it was an Elf named Jassa! I thought…”

“Perhaps I thought wrong by promoting you so soon,” Ilvara hummed. There was a soft snicker behind her and she rolled her eyes, turning towards the source. “And what amuses you so, Jorlan?”

The scarred male stood up straight from the wall he had been leaning against, offering Ilvara an elegant bow of his head. “If Shoor cannot identify it; I can if you wish it.”

“Pretty sure I already said my name…” This time one of the snakes sank their fangs into their cheek, piercing freshly scarred flesh to draw more blood.

“I suppose I could have you do something instead of laying about making quips uninvited,” Ilvara conceded.

“I would never dare make a single word uninvited in your presence, my lady.”

“Shoor, I’m getting a headache. Come and help relieve it in my chambers.”

The younger Drow moved at once to stand beside her, shooting Jorlan a smirk as she placed one of her arms in his own. “Anything for you, my lady.”

“Who knows? Maybe Jorlan will find comfort that there’s something here uglier than he is,” Ilvara said over her shoulder, taking her leave.

Jorlan allowed his upper lip to curl once he was certain they were gone. The sound of faint movement brought his attention back to the Elf. “So is this going to be boring or fun?” he asked.

Jassa sat up, dabbing a hand over the fresh wounds from the snake. “I’m an Elf and my name is Jassa.”

He nodded at that, smiling as he drew a shorter lashed flogger from his belt. “Fun then,” he agreed.

“This is just home all over again,” Jassa hissed.


	22. Mad Quaggoth

_ Jax used to say that they had absolutely no concept of the idea of just doing what they were told to avoid trouble. He also wondered aloud if Jassa had an inability to keep their thoughts to themselves since they were constantly blurting out seemingly the first thing that popped into their head at any given moment, ignoring where they were or who was around them. _

_ “Honestly? It’s a problem, Jassa. You’re going to end up in really big trouble one day.” _

His words came to them as they hit the stone wall of their new “home”; one of the slave cells down in Velkynvelve. Jassa crumpled a moment later, wheezing softly to try and catch their breath. Their vision swam, one of their eyes swollen shut and the other marred with blood from a cut above their eyebrow.

“Are you sure it’s supposed to be female?” they heard Ilvara asking. 

“I am positive, my lady. I checked and asked for several hours personally,” Jorlan promised.

Jassa grit their teeth, arms trembling as they tried to push themselves into a sitting up position. Their arms gave out from under them and their face connected with the hard floor again, drawing a groan of pain between bloodied teeth. “Shit…”

“Easy. Don’t try to sit up. You could have some kind of internal bleeding. It’s better to stay lying down on your stomach. Let me help.”

It was someone talking in Elvish; old Elvish. Archaic Elvish actually. But the words were soothing compared to the harsher Drow dialect and Jassa allowed themselves to relax, turning their head to try and look at the speaker. “Thanks I…”

The Quaggoth smiled down at them, placing a large hand carefully on the small of their back. “It’s no problem at all. Elves have to stick together when under assault by Drow,” he said.

“...what..?”

He blinked but then laughed, “forgive me! I know this must be confusing! Allow me to introduce myself! I am Prince Derendil of Nelrindenvane!”

There was a moment of silence between the two before Jassa spoke again, “what?”

“My appearance surprises you? Alas, some foul master of the forbidden arcane arts turned me into this creature after my capture! I assure you that I am of course a High Elven prince and as such I place you under my protection! And your name is..?”

“...Jassa,” they finally answered. They winced a little as the Quaggoth pulled them carefully into his arms, but soon found an odd comfort in his warm fur. “Thanks, Derendil.”

The Quaggoth smiled, sharp teeth flashing.


	23. Wipe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jassa accidentally on purpose asked Graz’zt to nuke their home Irenalora off the face of Faerun

“Jassa, I believe they’re going to want to be moving on soon.” He was met with silence and he coughed softly, covering his mouth and nose to avoid inhaling the ash that had once been a living Elf moments before. It was nigh on impossible to avoid getting the ash on his clothes but if he could at least avoid it on his face he thought he would avoid getting sick. “Jassa…”

Jassa sat down at the edge of the ledge and for a brief terrified moment he thought they were going to jump. This was the highest point left in the ruins of Irenalora and he doubted they would survive in their state. “...do you think they felt anything?” Jassa asked, their voice unusually soft and devoid of emotion.

Ephraim moved to sit beside them, placing a hand on their shoulder, both for comfort and to keep them from falling or lunging forward. “I’m sure they felt nothing,” he offered.

They hummed softly, staring straight ahead. “I always said I wanted to burn this place to the ground. Who knew I’d actually be able to do it?”

“Jassa…”

“Our wedding day; marked with so many dead at my hands. You must be so upset. I’ve ruined everything.”

“Jassa, you’re my wife,” he insisted, “I am staying by your side.” 

Jassa turned slightly, pressing against his side. They tucked their head underneath his chin, saying nothing. Jassa felt a sense of calm wash over them as Ephraim held them close, closing their eyes as they allowed their body to relax. They were so close to having so much and now everything had gone up with Irenalora.

In their other hand they still held the moonblade they had taken from the dying creature formerly known as Oli. Its once slender form had malformed once springing into the palm of their hand. The once white stone turned black, the hilt taking on a heavily burnt appearance. The blade looked jagged and almost made out of ash, veins of green magic occasionally lighting up along its length. The screaming the sword produced continued to sound in the back of their head, making it throb in a way they doubted would ever stop.

They were fairly certain they could hear Leah’s screams among the voices.

“We have to go,” Ephraim finally whispered.

“...okay,” they conceded. They sat quietly, watching as Ephraim stood up first before holding out a hand to be helped onto their feet. “The others…”

“I will protect you.”

“That’s not what I mean. I don’t need protection. I just don’t know what to do.”

“We’ll find a way,” he promised, “we’ve done it before, haven’t we?”

Jassa considered, their temples pounding with the screaming as it seemed to get louder over time. They reached out, hugging onto Ephraim’s arm, head on his shoulder. “Yeah.”


	24. In the Rain

He was pulled from his trance by Jassa’s hissed cursing. Ephraim opened his eyes slowly, blinking a few times to clear his vision as his eyes adjusted. He frowned when he found the tent empty, ears perking up when he heard Jassa curse again.

Pulling back the tent flap; Ephraim found that it was raining outside. He frowned up at the sky briefly, blowing a lock of hair out of his face before stepping out. “Beloved? Where are you?”

There was a moment’s silence before Jassa finally muttered, “over here.” They sat away from the other tents in the rain, three canteens laid out in front of them. They muttered more curses under their breath as Ephraim approached, wiping blood off of their fingers into the grass.

He raised an eyebrow, sitting down beside them. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to make urns.”

“Urns?”

“I don’t know it’s something people do sometimes with their dead,” Jassa said with a shrug. They picked up one of the canteens, showing it to him. “There’s ash in here.”

“Ah.”

“I’m trying to carve a symbol for that guy Helm on them.”

“Helm?”

Jassa shrugged again, waving a dismissive hand back at the tents. “That God some of them talk about. Human thing I think.”

“I see.” Ephraim looked at Jassa’s current work, noting the awkward lines and occasional spots of blood from a slipped blade piercing a finger. “Does Kayil know you took these?”

They took back the canteen and tried to resume their work, their tongue sticking out from the corner of their mouth. 

“Jassa.”

Their hand slipped again, the blade biting into the flesh of their thumb. Jassa hissed in pain, begrudgingly allowing Ephraim to take their hand to clean the wound this time. “I just wanted to be alone with them,” they finally said, “I’ll sneak them back into his pack before he wakes up.” They looked back down at the canteen. “Considering it’s my fault. Probably should have tried this on a day when it’s not raining though…”

“It can’t rain forever,” Ephraim softly offered, “And you can’t blame yourself forever either.”

Jassa blew rainwater from their nose, turning their head to look at their husband. “Will you help me?”

“Always,” he agreed, accepting the canteen and small knife from them.


	25. Moonshine Scarf

“This is a bad idea.”

“You always say that.”

“Because I’m always right and you have way too many bad ideas in that head of yours!” Jax cried, watching helplessly as Jassa threw their head back and downed another shot of Merchaw’s strongest moonshine. “Jassa…”

“Is your boyfriend going to stand there and keep complaining the whole time?”

“I’m not their boyfriend,” Jax snorted.

“You corrected him way too fast,” Jassa said with a pout.

“Well I’m not!”

Jassa snorted, pouring another shot before pushing the glass across the table to the Elf who had spoken. “You just worry about me winning tonight, lightweight! Jax’ll just make sure the game stays fair!”

“Jassa, you didn’t eat anything yet,” Jax groaned.

“It’s more fun that way!” they chirped.

Jax opened his mouth to say something. He stopped a moment and then shook his head, giving up as he sighed and pulled up a chair to sit at the table. “If you throw up in the tavern again they’ll make you clean it with your bare hands,” he reminded them.

Jassa caught the glass as it was slid back to them, downing it before setting it down and refilling it again. “I’m gonna win her that scarf,” they insisted.

Jax shook his head, producing his pipe as he tapped it to ensure it was clean before filling the bowl. “You’re gonna win my sister a scarf and end up getting sick on it.”

“Yeah, but I’ll still have won it for her!” A laugh escaped Jax then and Jassa smiled over at him, nudging him gently with their shoulder, “I’ve got this.”

“You’ll blame me for not stopping you later when you’re on your ass.”

“No, I won’t!”

***

“Why did you let me do that?!”

He sighed, adjusting his grip on his friend as they started to lean heavily to one side, threatening to topple them both over. “I tried to stop you,” he reminded Jassa.

“Shoulda tried harder!”

Jax rolled his eyes. “I told you so.”

“Yeah but...but…” Jassa narrowed their eyes, suddenly digging their heels into the ground to stop, nearly falling from their friend’s grasp.

“Jassa!”

“Where is it?!”

“Jassa, I have the scarf. I’ve told you this ten times now,” Jax reminded them. He sighed as Jassa narrowed their eyes, waiting for their drunken brain to finish processing this very complicated information. 

Slowly they nodded their head, smiling crookedly at Jax. “She’s gonna love it! S’got flowers and everything she likes!”

“Yeah, and…” Jax tried to be surprised when Jassa fell limply against him. Instead he sighed, grunting as he caught them under their arms when their legs gave out to save them from hitting the ground. “You’re impossible,” he muttered, carrying them bridal style back home.


	26. Embraced

“Everywhere I go, people die. Everywhere you go, there’s life and rebirth.”

“Not always.”

Jassa snorted, a short bark of laughter escaping their sore throat. “Aza! Just look back at everything that’s happened! You brought Ephraim back from death. You destroyed that Sylph and helped that marshland start to rebuild itself. You cured that grey render. Everything you do is full of life.”

“Not everything,” Aza whispered with a shrug. She looked back at Jassa, frowning a little when she saw the dark and almost painful looking rings under their eyes. “Have you been sleeping?”

Jassa laughed as an answer.

Aza sighed, “yeah, that was kind of a dumb question I guess.” She thought a moment. “I know you did some really bad things before but that’s in the past. We can move forward now. You can change you could…”

“Be reborn?”

“You’re teasing me,” Aza noted with a faint pout.

The Elf laughed softly, shaking their head. “If anyone can figure it out, it’s you; the life of our group.”

They hugged just as Jassa’s sword started to scream again. Aza winced to herself as the sound started to make her head throb. “Try to get some sleep, Jassa.”

“Yeah.”

***

“Boulderdash, if I ever end up like that; I want you to promise that you’ll kill me like you killed that other me.”

Jassa shuddered as they felt themselves coming back to their senses. The last thing they remembered was the other Kayil firing a blast of eldritch energy at them in Aza’s body and then the next, they were standing in the water again in their own body. They looked down at their familiar and damaged hands, finding an odd comfort in the return of their sore throat and raspy voice.

“Jassa!”

“Huh..?!” They yelped in surprise as strong arms pulled them into a tight hug. Their eyes widened, wincing as Kayil’s armor dug into them.

“I am so sorry! I never realized that it still hurt!”

Oh. That. Jassa’s cheeks burned in surprise and embarrassment. Kayil had apologized before of course, almost the instant his dagger slid through the flesh of their throat. This however was different. This time Kayil actually knew what they were going through.

“It’s okay,” Jassa rasped, offering him a crooked smile when they pulled back. And to their surprise, it really was.


	27. Shoor’s Game

The braiding and rebraiding of a length of rope was one of the most maddening tasks the Drow gave them. They were left in a room with the rope and just commanded to braid and rebraid until someone came to collect them. If a guard came in and found them slacking or the rope in unacceptable conditions, they would be punished. 

In the beginning they had fought back, refusing orders and generally making themselves a nuisance. The last bout of rebellion they had nearly been able to strangle a guard to death with the damned rope before reinforcements came and beat them into the ground.

Jassa learned fairly quickly that braiding and rebraiding the rope was a lot less painful in the end.

They were considering giving their fingers a rest when their scarred ears heard footsteps approaching. Mentally Jassa swore, bowing their head and focusing on the rope in their lap.

“Here! This is the one I was talking about,” Shoor said, gesturing to Jassa with a hand. He looked back at the latest transfers to Velkynvelve, “you place bets on what you think it is and then find out. It’s a fun exercise in identifying the surface mongrels.”

Jassa grit their teeth, focusing on their hands and the rope. Drow were always so focused on genitalia and identification to make their oppressive society work. For some reason they still found it funny that Jassa considered themselves as nothing when it came to gender. 

Shoor had even come up with a humiliating game. Whenever new Drow came to Velkynvelve, he had them place bets on what they thought Jassa was. Then he forced Jassa to undress to give them their supposed answer. They hated it.

“Hey! Cretin! Get up and show them what you are!”

Jassa flinched at the command from Shoor, fingers getting tangled in the rope. Wordlessly they freed them, hesitating as they considered their options. Shoor and the other Drow stood expectantly, watching them. Slowly Jassa turned their attention back to the rope, working on braiding again.

“Did you hear me? Get up!”

They were so tired of being humiliated by their captors. They were tired of being poked and prodded and touched...and there was nothing they could do about it. They let the rope slip from their fingers, standing up. Pointedly they stared down at the ground between their feet, avoiding eye contact. 

Shoor’s smile slowly turned into a scowl and he hissed as he stalked forward, hand reaching for the baton at his hip. “Are you starting to lose your mind? Or are you just so stupid you forgot what I commanded you to do?” he demanded.

Jassa’s hands clenched into useless fists at their sides. They continued to stare at the ground, refusing to move or speak. They didn’t want to be treated like a freak anymore. There wasn’t anything wrong with them.

He drew his baton, tapping it none too gently against the underside of Jassa’s chin, forcing them to look up. “Show them what you are, freak.”

They spit in his face.

***

Derendil looked up when he heard the cell door being opened. He stood up, wincing as Jassa’s body fell limply at his feet. Their face had been badly beaten, both eyes starting to swell and close. Their clothes were badly ripped and torn, their pants just barely held together.

The Quaggoth who believed himself an Elf shook his head, crouching down to cradle the unconscious Sun Elf. “I’m sure you gave them a proper helping of blood and vinegar,” he murmured, wiping away the blood.


	28. Go To Sleep

They hit the bed hard, letting out a soft oof before bursting into an uncontrollable fit of giggles. “Ow…” they murmured. They placed an arm over their eyes, focused on trying to mentally stop the room from spinning around so much.

“I told you not to go overboard,” Jax sighed.

Jassa lowered their arm, offering him a wobbly smile. “Yeah, but…”

“You need to get some sleep,” Jax warned, “you’re supposed to be going out hunting tomorrow. You’ll get in trouble if you don't arrive in time with the other hunters.”

“I always make it no matter what time I go,” they murmured.

“They don’t care about that. They care about you following their rules,” he reminded them.

“Yeah, I know.” Jassa sighed, staring up at the ceiling. “Someday all three of us are going to get out of here,” they promised, “and then none of us will have to worry about these stupid rules and laws.”

Jax snorted, shaking his head as he pensively bit the end of his pipe. “Sure we will,” he said, “but first you need to get to sleep and hope you don’t throw up tomorrow.”

Jassa huffed, looking back at Jax. “I just…”

He shook his head, cutting them off as he pressed a finger to his lips, “shh.”

They weren’t sure if it was the alcohol or their friend’s gentle insistence but in the end Jassa fell asleep, taking over their friend’s bed while he sat in his chair, pensively smoking and making notes in one of his journals.


	29. Trance Lessons

“I’m told you go by the name Ephraim now. Congratulations. Something freely given is much more agreeable than something taken for people like you.”

Ephraim blinked, frowning as his cloudy vision started to clear. He had sat down to trance, his body moving as if on its own to prepare him for the process. He had never tranced before and so he had no idea what to expect.

He certainly didn’t expect to find himself in a small grove, facing Sarith again. He hadn’t been there when the Drow had left them but he was aware of the emotional hole it had left, especially on Aza. Yet here he stood and to Ephraim’s surprise he was looking much better than when he had last seen him.

The lack of diseased fungi and bloody sick looking eyes tended to do that to people.

“Sarith!”

The Drow idly twirled the two blades he held in his hands, offering the hilt to one of them to Ephraim. “Here.”

“Huh?”

“Someone’s got to teach you how to properly use a sword,” he said, offering him a smirk. “The way you flailed around and tried to make chopping motions before drove me mad.”

Ephraim blushed, pouting as he tried to imitate the way Sarith held his sword. “I’ve been doing better!”

“You literally haven’t used a sword since coming back.”

“Well I..!”

Sarith moved in one swift motion that was almost too fast for Ephraim to register. He wrapped his arm around Ephraim’s sword arm, slamming his back against the other’s chest. An elbow in the ribs forced Ephraim to drop his sword and he was then thrown over Sarith’s shoulder, hitting the ground hard enough to see stars.

He blinked up at the two blades pointed in his face, blushing up to the tips of his ears. “...that was cheating,” he murmured as he accepted Sarith’s hand to get back up onto his feet. 

“I’m a Drow. Cheating is something we’re taught at birth,” he teased, giving him back one of the blades. “Come on, let’s make sure you can hold your own in a fight. The last thing we need is Jassa becoming a widow and going into one of their meltdowns again.”


	30. Let Go

Jassa watched as the letter opener sank to the bottom of the river, Jax’s blood washing off of it before it hit the bottom. Reaching up, they took off the mask they had taken from Shoor, tossing it with a flick of their wrist into the water. 

_ “I need it!” _

_ “You don’t need it.” _

_ “It’s all I have left of you!” _

Jassa shivered, dipping their hands into the water to clean them off. A small part of them had hoped last night had been a very vivid hallucination from the herbs and expensive wine but waking up had shown it was true.

_ “You need to stop focusing on the past. You’ll never be able to get that collar off of you and Graz’zt will keep tugging you in whatever direction he wants.” _

The Elf pouted a little as they remembered Sarith’s hissed words. When did that weirdo get so smart anyway? It wasn’t fair.

They would still bet ten gold on him in a fight with Jorlan though.

Reaching into their bag, Jassa took out the head of the Minotaur shaped metallic construction they had fought once in the Underdark. They held the head between their hands, tilting their own one way and then the other. The head wouldn’t go into the river.

Jassa had named it Ferdinand before the activation and battle. They had imagined having a body built for Ferdinand, placing the form in a garden they owned with Ephraim. “I guess this is better than leaving you in the Underdark,” they murmured, placing the head on a stump near the camp.

They gathered up flowers, braiding a few of them together before placing them on and around the head. “It’s not the garden I thought of but I guess a forest for some unicorn goddess is better, huh?” they asked.

Jassa stood up, looking down at Ferdinand with their hands on their hips. “Yeah, this is good,” they murmured. With that they headed out, searching for Ephraim to watch him training.


End file.
